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When a 99 Year Old Lawyer Comes to Argue Case in Court

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A Day in a Courtroom

As the case calledout
A 99 Years oldsenior advocate
Entered the courtroom
To argue a case ofgreat importance
As the courtroom wascrowded
The persons carryinghim on a stretcher
Took some time inbringing him
In front of thejudges
Judges looked sadly
Once a great criminal lawyer,
Now lying on astretcher
Counsel began hisarguments,

“My Lords, it isundisputed fact on records
that there isabsolutely no evidence
to show that any ofthe eye witnesses
had got eyes!!

The question ofbelieving them
Does not arise atall”
“Have you raisedthis question
in your crossexaminations?”
The Judge asked
“Defense does notneed to raise
this question incross examination
unless prosecutionhad asserted in chief examination
that the eyewitnesses had  got eyes”
The counsel humblysubmitted
The Judge changedthe track,

“Do you know scopeof Art.136?
Have you ever readArt.136?”
(Judge wanted to say that under Art.136 petitions,
The cannot re-look evidences)

“Lots of times!
My Lords! lots oftime!

“In fact I had theprivilege
Of explaining scopeof this Article
To many of YourLordship’s predecessors.”
The counselcontinued,

“Art.136,226 are pari materia
with Sec.125 ofCr.P.C.
They provide formaintenance
For Supreme Court Lawyers’ 
wife,children and parents”

The counsel thusexplained the scope
Of Art.136 andArt.226 and also
the basic object of legal system!
The Judge turned tobrother judge and asked,
“How many lawyers wehave in Supreme Court?”
“11,500” Brother Judgereplied
“How many SLPsshould we hear
to maintain theirfamilies?”
Judge asked
“2,80,000 per annum”
replied brotherjudge
“And how many SLPsshould we hear
if we want them tolive a decent life?”
Judge asked again
“4,60,000 per annum”
brother judge calculated.
“Can we not declare 10,000 lawyers as surplus
and direct highcourts and district courts to absorb them?”
the Judge asked
“They won’t be absorb 10,000.”
Brother Judgeexplained,
“There is alreadyscarcity of cases
in District Courtsand High Courts.
The lawyers arecommitting suicides
For want of cases!”
The Judge turned toCourt Master
And said, “IssueNotice in this case”
The Counsel furtherargued,
“The questionwhether Art.136 and 226
also provide formaintenance of  Supreme Judge’s 
wife, childrenand parents, is still pending 
before 13 Judges Bench of this Hon’ble Court”
“Is that so?”
Judge asked brotherJudge
“I don’t know
I am new here!”
Brother Judgereplied
The Judge turned toCourt Master
And said, “Issuenotice for bail also in this case”
Counsel furtherargued,
“Kindly give earlydate.
I am suffering fromdementia,
Delirium, arthritis,
And many otherailments
And my 99 YearsLicense to Argue
Is about to expire!”
The Judge orderedearly date
The counsel thankedthe judges
For allowing him toargue from a stretcher
As he could notstand up on his feet.
“It is al’right.
But you should nothave come.
You are embarrassingthis Court”
The Judge said
Counsel replied,
“All my life I haveused
only ACE method ofarguing”
“What is that?”
asked the judge
Counsel replied,
“Abuse the Judge,
Confuse the Judge,and
Embarrass the Judge”
The Counselexplained his
ACE method ofarguing.
Judge turned toCourt Master
And said, “Call thenext matter”
(2)
In the mountains of Tibet
Younger Lama askedElder Lama,
“Is it true that
Art.136 and 226 are pari materia
With Sec.125 ofCr.P.C.?”
“Yes. They are Mokita Pari Materia”
replied elder Lama
“What does word Mokita mean?”
Younger Lama asked
“It means ‘thingswhich everyone knows
but no one speaks’ ”
replied elder Lama
Haresh Raichura
Note: Inspired afterhearing a very respected and aged senior advocate in a High Court. Heexpressed regrets and said he had to come to Court because of pressure from arelative. I have no disrespect for this senior advocate. The poem is whollyimaginary.
2. Mokita is New Guinea buzz word as per my understanding

A Call from An Australian Girl – Compares our legal system with Australian system of Educating Law in High Schools

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In Australia, 99% marks at High School level is required to get admission in Law Courses. Compare this with how we we educate our children about Laws of our country.

Please, do not feel hurt, if some of the metaphors used below are harsh and away from reality. No intention to hurt anyone. The metaphors used here are only to stress need of legal educational and judicial reforms awareness at High School level it self in our country.

Please leave me comment if you feel hurt. I will correct my expressions. If  you like this posts, please subscribe to post updates on blog so that I do not have to tweet you about new posts.Thanks

A Call from an Australian Girl

Few days back

Sydney, Australia

A High School Girl 
Called up the YoungerLama in Mountain of Tibet.
She informed,
“This year,admissions in Law Courses in Australia
Stopped at 99% marks.
Since I have got only 98%marks,
I will have to go forless dignified courses
Like Medical orEngineering!”
She wept on phone.
She was sad.
Now she will never beable
To become a lawyer.
(2)
Younger Lama askedElder Lama,
“Why law courses arenot considered
So lucrative in India?
Why law is not themost sought after profession
In India?”
Elder Lama replied,
“Let us go to Indiaand find out.”
  
(3)
Two Lamas werewaiting for a train
At New Delhi railway station in India
A train came.
All compartments werealready full.
If they tried toboard any compartment,
They were pushed backand were told,
“No place here!
Go to some othercompartment”
The Elder Lamaexplained meaning of this metaphor
To Younger Lama
“This is how Admission Days
Are in High Courtsand Supreme Court.
The Judges telllawyers,
“No place here,
Go somewhere else.
My court is full”
(4)
Nathdwara Temple, Rajasthan
Two lamas werewaiting at a famous temple
And were waiting fordoors to open,
For Darshan/Visual of Deity.
Doors opened.
A big Flow of human beingpushed in for Drashan.
   
A big push came frombehind,
And the two lamasfound themselves in front of deity.
In less than twoseconds,
Another push came
And the two lamafound themselves
Out of the temple.
Elder Lama explainedmeaning of this metaphor,
“This is how final hearing matters
Are pushed up andpushed out
in High Courts andSupreme Court.
(5)
Two Lama went to a house
Where someone has just died only a few hours ago
Two lamas watched the scene.
The family memberswere arguing in loud voices
On when the dead bodyshould be taken out out house,
To the cremation grounds.
Elder man of the House wasinsisting that
Dead body cannot bekept overnight in a house.
Some family memberwas pleading insistingly,
“Let dead body bekept
Till some relativesreach from abroad”
Elder man of House overruledhim
And said,
“The dead body has tobe taken out
Just now”.
  
Elder Lama explainedyounger lama
Meaning of thismetaphor to Younger Lama
“This is what happenswhen a very old matter,
After 5 to 20 Years,
is suddenly notified for final hearing in High Court or Supreme Court,
 Lawyers plead for adjournments.
To contact clients,to collect some fees,
And to be prepared.
The Judges looks intopaper and says,
“No. This is a deadbody.
There is nothing in this matter.
It cannot be keptovernight.
This has to bedismissed Just now
It cannot be adjourned even for a Day!.”
(6)
Two Lama goes to a Bar Room
of a District Court
in a Small District of India
Two lama entered BarRoom
And went straight toa lawyer
Who was sleepingsoundly on a sofa
He was sleeping there
Since last 15 Years.
No one was disturbinghim.
Elder Lama woke himup
And asked him,
“Why have you beensleeping
Since so long????
                                               
 He replied,
“Courts in Indiahave been shut down
Since 15 Years!!
Lawyers used to seesome colour of money
When they get someex-parte urgent stay orders
Now no court is granting you anyex-parte orders,
However strong yourcase may be!!!
They just frustrate object of urgency,
by issuing notice returnable after three months!
The Subordinate judges all over India are afraidof
Strictures which HC may pass on them 
while setting aside some exparte urgent order,
And may spoil their carreer records with 
uncommunicative adverse notings,
And may attribute motives of corruption to them
if they grant any urgent ex-parte relief to any party!.
 They are now no more keen to decide
our Land AcquisitionCases or Claim Cases or Tort Cases,
Where large amountsmay have to be paid
By Government, Companies or institutes tosmall individuals.
If they pass anyorders granting big amounts,
The Government and companies,
may go in appeal, 
And while allowing their appeal,
remarks of dishonesty may be passed by Superior Court,
Against them and without hearing them!
Inquiries are orderedagainst them!
If the judges of Subordinate Courts come to Supreme Court
To complain against HC Judges,
They are told to goback to High Court
and file petition on Judicial Side of HC,
And to seek justice against Caesar
From Caesar’s Wife!
This they say on principle, 
that SC has no administrative control over HC.
This is incorrect, because under  Art.136,
SC can set aside any Administrative or Judicial side!!
Because such attitude of Supreme Court,
towards individual injustices to smaller judges, 
Since 15 Years, trialCourts
Have stopped passing any orders
Where lawyers can seesome green money
And cang go to home with a basket full of mangoes!
Therefore, I am sleeping on this sofa since last 15 Year”
The small lawyer of a small district court explained.
“So what do you do for your living?”
Asked Younger Lama
“I havepurchased
a Mango Orchard
In a nearby villageand I live from mango-income.
I come in Bar Room,
To Chit Chat withfriends for a cup of tea
And then I sleephere”
The lawyer explained.
(7)
Two lama entered inan examination hall
Where Exams were forrecruitment
To post of judges.
Test Paper containedonly one question.
“What will you do if we appoint you as a Judge?”
 The candidates have to choose
One of the two statements given below:


(a)           I will work hard to reduce arrears of cases
(b)           I will work hard to see that all lawyers in my courts become owners of
                 Latestmodel of BMW Cars!
TheCandidates who chose statement
No.(a) as correct statement,
Werebeing given appointment orders.
Thecandidates who chose
StatementNo.(b) as correct statement,
Weredeclared failed in Exam for Judges.


(8)
TwoLama returned to
Mountain of Tibet.
YoungerLama had found
Answersto his question.
Hewas now at peace with himself.
Haresh Raichura.